13 Feb Turning Down my Dream Job
Sometimes dreaming too big can actually hurt you… You heard me right. This is coming from a girl who owns a t-shirt that reads “Don’t Quite Your DayDream”.. so hear me out.
As most of you know it is my dream to one day open my own holistic wellness center. I have been praying to my angels to bring me a job that will align with this path and simultaneously help me grow my private clientele. I had been hoping, wishing, and manifesting the crap out of this dream. Dreaming of a job that would be the perfect step towards my goal, my ideal image of success. I searched high and low, applied to over 25 Wellness Centers in the Charleston area, and conveniently none of them were hiring.
Two weeks later I was beating myself up and mega-stressing about the road my career path was headed down when I received a phone call from what I believed to be the premiere wellness center in Charleston, SC. I remembered walking past this center my first day in Charleston and gawking at it’s beauty, elegance, and the calming effect it instantly had on my nerves. Over the phone the owner asked me to meet her for coffee with no mention of potential job offer. I headed to Kudu and thought there was no way it would be a job of substance, they probably wanted a new receptionist or retail associate.. The last thing I expected was a job offer to RUN the entire wellness center. I was in shock, in awe, they wanted ME? I could not imagine managing such a large and successful wellness center, this was my dream… I had literally perfectly manifested what I wanted.. Here comes to tricky part and the reason why they say be careful for what you wish for!
I left the interview feeling confident and pleased having just half-accepted my dream job.. Then about half way over the Ravenel Bridge this sudden intuitive gut wrenching feeling had brought me to tears. I had not asked a single question about the job requirements or salary! This was a full time job, I would have to quite my dog walking business I loved so much, quite teaching yoga to WINGS kids, cut back flexibility for my private clients, and I almost forgot I was starting school soon! Talk about eyes being to big for your stomach!
At this point in time I created my own schedule, I had the freedom to take my Roscoe pup to the dog park on a Monday afternoon or have lunch with my boyfriend on a Thursday afternoon… Things would change tremendously if I took this job.. suddenly like a bullet to the head I realized how much I had been taking advantage of my life. I was to busy worrying about where my career was headed, to busy dreaming about what was NEXT instead of what was right NOW. The wonderful life I had at this moment in time. Working 60 hours a week would hardly allow me to have the flexible life and schedule I had now with my family, my clients, my education, let alone my LIFE! No more yoga at 4:30 on Tuesdays, no trips to the Farmer’s Market on Saturday afternoon. Sure this is what I wanted, this is what I dreamed of but I was so busy dreaming I wasn’t just enjoying where I was at and now I found myself sad realizing that phase of my life was over…
Well anyways, for many specific and private reasons (one being the incredibly insultingly low salary) I decided this job was actually not the right fit for my life.. .WOW
NO WAY I would have seen this coming… I realize this was a huge lesson in my life sent to me from my angels and here is what I have learned.
Just because things are gorgeous and beautiful does not mean they are divinely destined. No matter what the situation is intentions must be pure and positive. Trust your gut about situations. There is a reason my gut wrenched and tears poured from my eyes on that ride home. My heart and intuition where saying “no” but my logical head was saying “WHY THE HELL NOT?” Trust your heart, trust your gut, don’t fight it, just because the opportunity may sparkle and seem like perfection does not mean its true. So don’t cause anxiety for yourself by fighting your heart with your head.
Most importantly BE PRESENT. I was so concerned with feeling “stuck” and feeling like a failure and dreaming of the future, I was not present for this amazing chapter of my life. I should not take my current situation for granted because it can pass in the blink of an eye. My boyfriend and I are both students and have the leisure of waking up each morning and going to the gym together, once we both get full-time jobs and potentially have kids this privilege will be no more.
I am amazed by the major epiphany I had by turning down a job I never thought I’d be offered, what I “thought” was a dream job. You would think by now I would accept that life is full of surprises, we are kidding ourselves if we think we have any control, we are really just along for the ride!
Enjoy your life. Trust your intuition. Learn from lessons and signs sent to you from above. Be careful what you wish for. Dream big, but not so hard you miss your life.